Editor’s Note: Many links are now broken since the website relaunched.
Ever had your news feed infested by the gory, leave-no-stone-unturned details of a chaotic childbirth?
How about photos of giant, lumpy placentas crowding your screen? Or perhaps a baby whose ass and legs are smeared with shit stains?
You have to see it to believe it.
I make no effort to hide my disdain for parents who shove their newborns into the digital spotlight, giving the world a peek into the ups and downs of a baby who has no damn idea what the hell is going on. My opinon is firm that it is poor parenting to place a child in a sitatuon where, by the time they realize what social networking and the internet are, the first decade of their life is documented immortally on the world wide web – from embarrassing photos to over-revealing statuses to videos that will cement your kid in the childhood clique of bully victims.
Whether you agree with me or not, you have to give props to STFU, Parents, a Tumblr blog that highlights user-submitted cases of over-sharing parents on Facebook.
Started in March of 2009, STFUP is pure entertainment. Each post is an amusing screenshot, following by a well-written mockery, and sprinkled with dozens of bonus jokes in the well-used comments section.
It’s funny and it’s sad. Many of STFUP’s posts cause me to either shake my head in utter disappointment or cover my face with a palm, admitting shame to be a member of such a stupid species. Some even push boundaries.
One parent seemed to think it was hilarious to title an album “The Eruption of Mt. Karis;” with Karis presumably the baby’s name, the photo features a large baby lying on a couch, clothed, with its own semi-liquid feces staining its outfit and right leg. The caption? What the baby would be saying if it could talk, apparently: “What? I did what? Oh, stop it, that smell must be the dog…”
…Can you imagine what this 6-photo album would do to a teenager if their high school peers discovered it online?
Oh, and another thing – why the hell didn’t Tim wipe his baby’s shit up immediately instead of taking six pictures? (Another example of a baby with multiple inches worth of snot dangling from its nose – priorities, anyone?)
For those who like to counter with, “Oh, only my Facebook friends see it and I only have 20 of those,” WRONG. The most obvious example of this being ridiculously wrong is STFUP – consider that, while Mt. Karis may have been intended for friends only (which in itself is still disgusting), it is now on a blog. Judging by comments reaching into the several hundreds, this blog at the very minimum must get several thousand pageviews per day. And, even if father “Tim” deleted the photo of the social network, notice that it’s still on the blog, and may never be taken down. And may be copied by anyone and re-posted anywhere. This baby will forever be marinating in its own shit.
In fact, this blog actually ups the ante on humiliation, with mocking write-ups for each screenshot and visually tampering with photos for added hilarity. In fact, as serious as it is to make your child’s life digital, STFUP is also a tremendous source for quality entertainment, though pehaps not for the parents who will one day be loathed by their kids for ruining any chance of Karis being accepted into society.
And for those who simply cannot be convinced that detailing their kids’ lives is wrong, realize that not only do you potentially harm your baby’s future, you may also come across as an arrogant douchebag who churns out obnoxious posts in rapid fire.
Unless you’re bat crazy, you’ll feel a mixture of shock and disdain for all of these other sitations:
- Observe that new mothers seem to be notoriously awful at spelling and grammar. (“My patients are getting slim,” “my kid trying to do summar salts,” amongst many others.)
- And how about the unprecented level of annoyance triggered by “mommyjacking,” where an overtly proud or emotive mother just HAS to include their kids in a competely unrelated discussion, such as here, here as well, oh, and here too.
- And what’s with moms who are too “busy” to do anything because they’re too BUSY documenting their life on Facebook. Not much time to get ready? How about instead of getting ready, you complain about it, and then lay out a strategy which would have worked had you not wasted time online?
- as a Facebook-savvy mom yourself, giving nonsensical tips to wannabe-Facebook-moms?
- Or, if you despise your child in every way, and insist that your child is a permanent fixture of torment in your life.
- Or, how about taking off your halo to confess that you have committed the ULTIMATE sin – not publicly announcing your child’s ninth monthaversary?
- Or, how about going nuts with wacky advice, only to realize that babies are not the actual topic of discussion?
What else be said? Shut the f#A% up, parents.